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If This Couch Could Talk

Source: notebookmagazine .com

JANET: Oh. My. Goodness. What is with that couch?
JOY: I thought you might, uhm, appreciate it.
JANET: Appreciate that it's ugly, you mean?
JOY: I knew I could count on you.
JANET: It's a lovely space, and the rest of it is reasonably well done… but that couch? Nasty!
JOY: No word of a lie, my grandparents had one just like it in their basement. On our obligatory Sunday afternoon visits, my sister and I would head down there in our gouchos and clogs, suckin' on our Lik-a-Stix and Pop Rocks. And even then we considered that couch ugly!
JANET: Ooh, Lik-a-Stix! Loved that powder-- I always ate it right out of the pack. But that stupid stick tasted like wax! And Pop Rocks just scared me. I always felt like I would swallow one by accident and it would explode in my throat and choke me.
JOY: Hm. Pop Rocks phobia. Don't think I’ve ever heard of that one before.
JANET: What can I say? I'm unique.
JOY: Well, you're something. Can we focus on the now, dahling?
JANET: I s'pose. Okay, soooooo... I'm thinking this has got to be the work of an avant-garde designer. Or someone with no budget whatsoever. Notice how they've 'updated' the couch by adding a shiny brushed metal platform underneath it?
JOY: Yeah. That's 'cuz the legs fell off-- in 1973!!
JANET: And now it's 2009 and guess what? That couch is still ugly!
JOY: It is, but maybe we shouldn't be so harsh. Maybe these people are avid recyclers— maybe they're saving the earth... one couch at a time. Y'know, 'going green'. Ha. Pun intended.
JANET: Clever. Listen, I'm big on saving the earth too, just not so big on saving that couch. Some things should be left in 1973.
JOY: Yeah-- that couch, gouchos and clogs...

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