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If These Walls Could Talk

Source: notebookmagazine

JOY: I have to say this just pisses me off.
JANET: Woah, why such a strong reaction to a seemingly nice photo?
JOY: Because no matter how pretty they make it look, firewood always makes a mess.
JANET: That’s why I stick with natural gas my dear.
JOY: Well, I do love my wood-burning fireplace but a) my wood is never stacked neatly like this and b) the wood chips get EVERYWHERE.
JANET: True, it’s a pain.
JOY: And my firewood is wonky – not pretty to look at. It looks like it’s been cut by a blind, one-armed lumber jack.
JANET: Realllly?
JOY: Yes. And every single time I grab a piece, all of the saw-dusty remnants fall to the floor and I have to grab a broom before it gets soaked up into the vortex that is the dog’s paws.
JANET: The anger. It’s a brewin’...
JOY: And then my husband asks – "Why are the floors so dirty?"
JANET: Yeah, not good.
JOY: And then he has the nerve to ask me where all of the wood is? Why have I been burning so much of it? ISN’T THAT WHAT IT’S THERE FOR?
JANET: Calm down now...
JOY: It’s wood. It’s not gold. It’s meant to be burned. Or burnt. Whatever. And you know what else Janet? There isn't even a fireplace in this photo!!!
JANET: Did you go off your meds again?
JOY: Shut up.


  1. you always notice the little things that would never even register with me...

    my book just came!!! i LOVE it:) thanks so much Moggit Girls!!!

  2. never mind the bugs living in the firewood.

  3. OMG, bugs in the firewood IN the KITCHEN.


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