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If These Walls Could Talk

Source: Paule Hellstern for The New York Times

JOY: So, there are a lot of things that bother me about this kitchen—including the tile that goes all the way to the ceiling.
JANET: Yeah— the tile is probably the least of my worries if I step in there. Which I probably wouldn’t. That giant spider scares the hell out of me.
JOY: 'Tarantula' light fixtures - they're all the rage now.
JANET: Dare I ask who this kitchen belongs to?
JOY: Wayne Coyne, of the Flaming Lips.
JOY: Man, you’re out of the loop. The Flaming Lips. The Band?
JANET: Still nuthin’.
JOY: Whatever. Cool band, bad kitchen.
JANET: I can concur with kitchen bit, at least. But that floor. Just really… not good.
JOY: Linoleum. Don’t understand why it’s making a comeback.
JANET: Perhaps it’s the original floor.
JOY: Mm. What about the flea-collar'd cat?
JANET: I was wondering when you’d get to that.
JOY: It’s on the table. And it’s scratching itself. I gotta say, I don’t like that.
JANET: Yeah, well. Whatever. Cats do that sort of thing. But listen, I know that people don’t like upper cabinets in their kitchens these days, but I don’t know. Here the absence of them makes the whole room seem a little… off. Or maybe it’s that the only window I see is way too tiny. It’s starting to feel very ‘institutional’. What do you think?
JOY: I’m bored.
JANET: Aaaaaaaaaaaaand we're done.


  1. A) tiles to ceiling? fine
    b) tarantula lamp? love on top of love! (one of my favorites, from moooi)
    c) cat on table? obviously you've never owned cats- try keeping them from anywhere they want to go...

    leaving us with the real tragedy of the photo: the cabinets. looks like assemble-it-yourself office furniture for staples- the stain is dreadful. somebody paint that sh*t- STAT!

  2. It's not fair to judge someone's decorating when it was done under the influence of antibiotics for their flaming lip condition :- x

  3. Actually, my cats have never gone on the table (when I'm home) but then again, my cats don't have to worry about what they might step in on the floor of a subway kitchen!


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