moggit
the scoop the goods The Funny

6.14.2010

If These Walls Could Talk...Nate Berkus Style!


JANET: Well, here we are in Chicago. Finally. 
JOY: And here we are at Nate Berkus' apartment building. Finally.
JANET: We gotta get in there and find something mogg-worthy. 
JOY: Let's do it now, 'cuz I just saw him and his fabulous hair take his dogs out for a walk. 
JANET: Are you SURE it was him? 
JOY: Totally! Look-- I snapped him with my iphone.  
a boy & his dogs
JANET: Sigh... that's him alright. 
JOY: Stop drooling & get moving! 
JANET: Yeah-- we probably don't have much time. I mean, how long can it take for two dogs to poop in the park?   

.....
.....
.....


JOY: Wow. That lock was really hard to pick. 
JANET: Harder than usual? 
JOY: Lemme put it this way-- I had to pull out my platinum card.
JANET: Well, it is Nate Berkus' apartment, after all...
JOY: Yup-- and nuthin' but the best will do for our Nate!

Photobucket

JANET: Oh. My. Goodness. Look at Nate's living room! 
JOY: Gotta say I love it. Very masculine and warm.
JANET: And yet light and airy. And well balanced.
JOY: LOVE that carpet!
JANET: LOVE those chairs!
JOY: Listen to us. We're gushing. I actually feel a little nauseous...
JANET: Just keep moving. And whatever you do, don't throw up on Nate's fabulous carpet. There's gotta be something wrong with this place somewhere...

Photobucket

JOY: Wow. He's a pig in the bathroom.
JANET: You mean he's got pigs in the bathroom.
JOY: Yeah. That's what I meant.
JANET: Nice try. That big one is quite a handsome specimen, don't you think?
JOY: Yes. He really is an unexpected touch of whimsy in an unexpected place. 
JANET: And he also provides a lovely juxtaposition of dark against all those light tones... 
JOY: Drat! There's nothin' for us to mogg about in here.  
JANET: Keep going. Where to next? 
JOY: The kitchen-- maybe he's got a massive collection of roosters or cows in there or something.
JANET: Yeah, with a gingham wallpaper border. 
JOY: Cross your fingers...

Photobucket 

JANET: RATS! This kitchen is totally cool.
JOY: Aarrrrrrrrrrggggggggh!
JANET: There is not one blasted thing in here that's mogg-worthy.
JOY: I really love those chairs-- they're amazing! 
JANET: And the table-- it's totally industrial chic.
JOY: Know what? It also doubles as an island!
JANET: Oh, that Nate. He's so damn clever.  
JOY: Sigh. Should we try the dining room? 
JANET: Whatever. But don't get your hopes up-- it's probably perfection.  

Photobucket

JOY: Why are these chairs pulled out so far? Really? Who doesn't push in their chair when they get up??
JANET: Now you're just grasping at straws.
JOY: Yeah... whatev. It's perfect. That table is to-die-for. 
JANET: And please, those chairs. Drat you, Nate Berkus and your seemingly infallible design-eye. 
JOY: We'll get you soon my pretty, and your little dogs, too! 

Photobucket

JANET: Oooh... look what we have here! 
JOY: What? An extremely inviting and comfortable room to read and relax in... and maybe watch tv? 
JANET: Yeah, but only if your neck has owl-like dexterity. Why is it behind the couch?
JOY: Good question. But the real question is, is it mogg-worthy?
JANET: No. Dammit...   

Photobucket

JOY: So. The bedroom. Also disgustingly perfect. 
JANET: Somebody likes him some geometric carpets...
JOY: There's nothing wrong with that. Now you're the one grasping at straws.
JANET: Sigh... I know. It's a really great carpet. He has great taste in carpets.  
JOY: Let's take a break in these two lovely gold chairs that Nate so thoughtfully left here for us.
JANET: It's almost like he was expecting us, isn't it? 
JOY: Yes... it's like he's saying 'Sit here girls, and watch me and my fabulously thick, wavy, tousled hair wake up in the morning.'
JANET: Stop. 
JOY: Seriously. Have you ever seen a better head of hair on a guy? It's so... lustrous. 
JANET: Stop. 
JOY: It's just so thick. And looks like it doesn't give damn while it teases you with it's 'Come hither and run your fingers through me' waviness...
JANET: I said STOP! 
JOY: Okay-- I'm done. Time to get out of here. 
JANET: I guess... know what irritates me? 
JOY: What? 
JANET: The fact that there is absolutely, positively NOTHING mogg-worthy in this whole damn, spectacularly fabulous apartment. NOTHING!

....
....


JOY: GASP-- Hold. Everything.
JANET: What? 
JOY: I found it!
JANET: What?? 
JOY: Paydirt... 
Photobucket

JANET: Oh. Wow. That's a lot of blue.
JOY: Yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh... alot. What kind of blue is that anyway? 
JANET: I believe it's called 'Mogg-Worthy Blue'.
JOY: Oh, Nate... call us. 

ED. NOTE: The above is a completely fictionalized account of an occurrence that never really happened. Joy and Janet have never broken in to Nate's fab Chicago apartment with a credit card (much as they might wish to have done). And they are also not quite so delusional that they don't realize that in the real world, they would never get past the doorman. The Nate Show premieres September 13th-- so be sure to tune in for some fresh, fun and non-fictionalized entertainment!

Who else is joining us in this huge #nateday twitter party?  Check out the bloggers who are joining us here!

All photos: elle decor

38 comments:

  1. What a fantastic post. Absolutely love it. Enjoying your blog greatly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Adorable. Creative and fun. Thanks for inspiring us today--this Nate Day project has been a scream...
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am laughing ... and enjoying Nate Day!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Really love your sense of humor! What a fun post!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Someone call the cops!! Juuust kidding -- great post, and thanks again for spearheading all of this!

    ReplyDelete
  6. love the legs on the table in the kitchen. the art nouveau profile adds interest, complementing the straight lines throughout the space.

    ...and the blue in the closet- a great statement!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great post, girls!! You 2 are so imaginative & witty. My post isn't going up til right after Noon, had some other commitments first. But, it will be up today!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hilarious! Is it too late to join in on the fun? I don't tweet, so was unable to let you know of my interest and couldn't add myself to the url list.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Too funny...but I personally LOVE his blue closet!! :)
    Janell

    ReplyDelete
  10. Love it - hilarious!!

    Please add me to the list! :)

    http://theyellowfrontdoor.blogspot.com/2010/06/i-cant-wait-for-nate.html

    ReplyDelete
  11. HAHA LOVE it!! Hope to finally meet you ladies in person at one of Nate's shows!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is the best Nate Day post I've seen so far! Love it and love you girls too!


    Happy Nate Day!

    Oh, and yeah his hair is simply worthy of a mention!

    ReplyDelete
  13. great going, gals. would you please add me to the list of Nate posters today? thanks so much.
    Donna!
    www.aperfectgray.com

    ReplyDelete
  14. HERE IS MY POST!
    http://getitgirlstyle.blogspot.com/2010/06/gigs-loves-nate-berkus-yes.html

    ReplyDelete
  15. Fantastico! As always this cracked me up. Here is our special tribute to Mr Cutie Pie.....our fave space and then a little look at how we used Nate's Rules on some Kiddo Rooms. Whoo hooo! This is fun!


    http://www.modernkiddo.com/?p=2496

    Alix from modern kiddo

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm new here via Mrs. Limestone. But I joined the nate party! Here is my post:
    http://helloloverofbeautifulthings.blogspot.com/2010/06/hello-nate-berkus-day.html

    Love this! P.S. I saw him last week at the test taping for his show!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Wonderful post! New here via Simplified Bee. Linking. Love your style!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Love Nake Berkus!! Check out our post: http://doobydesign.blogspot.com/2010/06/nate-berkus-whats-not-to-love.html

    ReplyDelete
  19. A great talent and cute to boot! http://beautifullivingstyle.blogspot.com/2010/06/designer-profile-nate-berkus.html

    ReplyDelete
  20. finished mine: http://sabbespot.blogspot.com/2010/06/lets-see-it-again-best-of-nate-berkus.html

    thanks for organizing!

    ReplyDelete
  21. LOL ladies! Such a fun post. Yeah and what is up with the dining room chairs?

    Thanks for pulling us all together.

    xo,
    cristin
    aka another blogger who loves Nate!

    http://simplifiedbee.blogspot.com/2010/06/hooray-hooray-its-nate-berkus-day.html

    ReplyDelete
  22. This is hilarious. Enjoyed highly.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Amazeballs!
    Thanks for all the fun today.
    xo xo

    ReplyDelete
  24. Brilliant take on it all. Just too damn funny!

    ReplyDelete
  25. There are some pretty unique things here. The pig in the bathroom of course! And using office chairs at a kitchen table. It totally works!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Love it!

    Here's a post and giveaway:

    http://semiglosschic.blogspot.com/2010/06/happy-nateday-home-rules-giveaway.html

    ReplyDelete
  27. the most fun nate day post! i got mine up:) yay for nate day! you ladies are so amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  28. OMG! You all are sooo funny...and love to share Nate love!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I have been trying to work urlist for the past 30 minutes to no avail. I don't know why I can't get my link up. But I posted about Nate here: http://katieanner.blogspot.com/2010/06/windy-citys-designer.html

    Has anyone else had horrible times with urlist?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oops. Forgot to add my link earlier: http://holdingcourtblog.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-friendship-with-nate.html

    Thanks again for coordinating this!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I just posted mine, this is so fun !

    http://bgcustomwindows.blogspot.com/2010/06/nate-day.html

    ReplyDelete
  32. me! me!

    please add my post to the list

    http://fortheloveofgold.blogspot.com/2010/06/dear-nate.html

    this is so great!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Thanks to you both and @creategirl for the most amazingly fun day in the world of social media. What a brilliant idea!
    Have to agree with the rest - I LOVE Nate's blue closet. And I need that much space for my shoes. I see a closet remake in my immediate future.
    The rug in the Living Room is also to.die.for.
    Here's my Nate Day tribute:
    http://averydesigninteriors.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/nate-day-or-why-this-interior-designer-still-loves-social-media/

    ReplyDelete
  34. I don't think the closet is actually his ... hmmm blue ... ahhh, it's Barclay Butera's closet. How did THAT get in there? I think you took a wrong turn in the hall.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Oh sure you didn't!!! How fun and I would love to join in!

    Karena
    Art by Karena

    ReplyDelete
  36. oh i have no wisdom: i didnt know about NAT but know i do and im hooked :) hope i can se the show on internet. great funny post!

    ReplyDelete
  37. What an awesome post. Enjoyed the read.

    ReplyDelete

Drop your pearl of wisdom in this little box...

 
All Rights Reserved moggit.com | Design byAvalon Rose Design